Blog

Starting over

This blog was first born in 2017, I wanted to create a record of the interesting places I’d been and the dishes I had ate. I was travelling more than I had ever done previously and hitting up some of the most prolific venues of the time.

I’ve forgotten a lot over the years and my short term memory is pretty poor so as these things go, I also started to forget about writing. It takes time to sit down and review a meal or record a trip and it was becoming too big an ask, an obligation. At the same time, I’d convinced myself that I had to be achieving something, that if I was going to spend time writing a blog then it should be giving me something in return. I looked at other bloggers and started thinking that I should be trying to do PR work, that I had to go to all the new openings as soon as I could but also, that I had to increase my readership, my engagement stats and my reach. I didn’t care about these things before and wrote only for myself. I love detail and editing for an audience was never my intention . All of these things made writing feel like a task and not a hobby and as a result. I just stopped.

3 years worth of posts have been deleted.

There is no backup, no residual trace.

In a moment of indecision, I clicked the ‘do not renew’ button and let my website fade away knowing I wouldn’t be able to get it back.

I regret not taking a copy of my posts, not to reuse them but to stay with me as memories.

In a bizarre, questionable line of thought I simply felt that they were worthless and that my time was more valuable but it’s only now, months after the event that I remember the amount of detail that has been lost. I wrote a day by day account of our holiday to India, excitedly posted about some of the big name restaurants I visited as soon as we had been- Mugaritz, Mirazur,Arzak,Diver XO, Fat Duck there are more than I can remember, but I also wrote things out of passion or frustration, the lists of food trends that were driving me mad at the time, my memories of cooking as child, those were the posts that made me the happiest but I let the words disappear into the ether.

It’s all gone. There is every chance that this post will too disappear one day in the future when I’m struck by a similar feeling of irrelevance but hopefully next time, I will talk myself out of deleting the backup. For someone that works in technology it was a questionable decision but it happened during lockdown and I suppose things could have been much worse.

So, here’s to starting over, to doing things because you want to and most importantly, to preserving memories for the future.